We live in a world made up of binaries: good vs bad, left wing vs right wing, pleasure vs pain, truth vs falsehood. There is little room for folks with multiple racial identities to feel seen and understood. Often we are forced to pick, or have others decide for us.This can lead to a lot of loneliness, self-doubt, and confusion about who you are. A lot of wounding can happen around growing up as a mixed race person if you came from a home or community environment that did not support all of your identities. Common issues like not belonging and feeling kept out of certain circles or being bullied for physical appearance, can lead to insecurities, minimizing one’s needs, and finding it hard to feel grounded in a sense of self.
My hope for you is to feel the relief of laying down the burden of managing other people’s experiences of you. In our work together, we will explore the messages you received about your identity, who you did and didn’t belong to, grieve what you lost, and embrace what you are ready to re-claim.
Feelings of grief and remorse can come up as you explore the topic of racial identity. This can have many forms including choosing to identify with the race that was less marginalized, and closer in proximity to whiteness, and rejecting or hiding the race that either currently or historically experienced more oppression. Missing an opportunity to be closer to the family or culture that was more historically oppressed can be a point of grief.
In our work together, we will look at the ways you may have had to be complicit in white supremacy as a way to survive. We will make room for you to grieve the ways that trying to “fit in” may have come at a cost. I’m here to help you find the difference between “fitting in” and belonging. We will make space for you to exist without needing to apologize, make excuses, justify, or minimize yourself, and live from a place of wholeness, finding joy in the abundance and beauty of all of who you are.
Here are some resources on multiracial/mixed race identity: